washington dc

olivia was in washington dc these last couple of days. amazing how someone who spends most of her time in her room avoiding us ...can leave such a void in our house when she is gone. can’t wait to hear stories of her trip and see more of her pictures. these were a few she sent on her phone. i know i’m her mom...but i really she think she has a good eye with her shots.

happy sunday

or happy easter.
i think i would have needed to hard boil 3 dozen eggs to try all the color combinations we got this year in our paas packet. does anybody really make spinners out of the circles you punch out? brian and i read a martha stewart magazine in one of the waiting rooms last month. of course...fantastic. each egg a work of art. one of the things she suggested was using electric tape to do the masking. worked on some, not on others. and the layering of the dyes didn’ t seem to work with the dyes we had. and...the kids got bored about 20 minutes in. ah, traditions. the kids celebrated the day by playing ripstick basketball. sam had a bunch of guys over yesterday playing. ill try and get a picture next time they do. as if one or the other wasn’t hard enough!thanks to aunt sheryl and uncle john for having brunch with us and sitting through an impromptu viewing of sherlock holmes. you are good sports!

(and on a side note, summer jumped in and swam in three ponds today. so much for that yummy-frito-puppy smell!)

random thoughts and news

1. yes, it’s a tracing...but isn’t it a good one? not sure which kid...found it as i was looking through some papers on my desk.

2. heard back from my oncologist...uh’s review of the path slides pretty much match the clinic’s...so still no chemo. yay!

3. it’s that time of the year again...sammy has started baseball and soccer. fortunately, the games don’t overlap too much. some of the practices will, but we’ll manage. i can’t wait till it starts to get warmer out...it is really fun to watch him play. plus, lots of nice parents to hang out with.

4. olivia has started a volleyball clinic in mentor. it looked like they did some really good drills. i know olivia was a little sore over the weekend! she is looking forward to some sand volleyball with her dad this summer.

5. did some more genetic testing last week...will know the results in 3-4 weeks. supposedly a bit more accurate than the one i did 5 years ago. i don’t think insurance covers this one, but i think i still feel better knowing.

6. got to see the inside of our neighbor, topper’s, house over the weekend. amazing. he has done so much work, it is hard to believe it’s the same house. he also shared some of the other things he has been working on...animal rights and honey.

7. finished the help last week and started the hour i first believed on my new nook. thanks again to all my amazing friends...its very fun, and much lighter to carry in my purse. and thanks to amy for all the great book selections.

8. saw the balto exhibit at the cleveland museum of natural history. as i’ve mentioned before, sam LOVES balto. although neither kid seemed all that excited to actually see the real balto. (well, stuffed balto) bri and i liked it though. and it made me more proud of cleveland that people worked so hard to bring balto here. if you don’t know the story, check it out. it’s really pretty interesting.

9. 71 degrees this coming thursday. :)

10. planning ahead...brian and back 9 at marcelitas for cinco de mayo. they even have there picture on the website! that’s brian...right in front of the flat screen tv. (?!)

gangsta

balloons

i’ll probably file this one under a little bit too much information...but i visited my plastic surgeon yesterday to start having my expanders filled up. and i think brian will agree with me...it was kind of freaky. first, they use what amounts to a stud-finder to find the resealable cap to my expander. then, using a syringe that is easily an inch in diameter and maybe 6 inches long, with a needle that is easily 3 inches long...he injected the saline through my scar into the cap. and it didn’t hurt. (then) it just felt so bizarre to feel these things filling up. it was only a little, but when he was done, they felt so tight. it was really almost hard to breathe. it hurt every time i took a deep breath. i had debated driving myself to that appointment, but now i’m really glad i didn’t. i was joking with allison at work about coming back and everyone staring at breasts for weeks. (you know you will!) i suppose posts like this don’t help. but aside from the sucky part about the cancer, the process has all been so interesting.

today, tonight, tomorrow

i will be calling and emailing and thank-you-noting-you-all tomorrow....but wanted to let you know that today’s appointment went really well. i probably shouldn’t have been so freaked out. i knew the facts, but your mind takes you far places sometimes. they (uh) will be redoding the path tests on the clinic slides this next week, but based on the report....i will not be needing chemotherapy. and as an added bonus, they said to stop taking the tamoxifen. ( i only had a few months to go, but it was still good to hear. it obviously didn’t stop my cancer from recurring) i will be having, or rather allowing from my dna , some more genetic testing over the next couple of weeks. there is apparently a new test that further defines your risk for ovarian cancer. if that comes back positive there may be a few more things ahead for me. but nothing we couldn’t handle. but today, was a very good day. love to you all. and all my love to brian who without i wouldn’t have made it through. your good wishes have meant more than you know.

venting

i’d like to think that i’ve been pretty even keeled about this whole thing...but sometimes things just set me off.

first let me start by saying that i’m stradling the systems. surgery at clinic...oncology at uh. uh called me yesterday at 4:30 saying, hey you have an appointment tomorrow, where are your films? how was i supposed to know? so then i sent almost an hour on the phone with the clinic being transferred, cut off, transferred again, transferred to the emergency department(?), transferred again to the same person 3 times who proceeded to lose her temper with me only to finally find out it was slides i needed not films. big difference. x!@##$%. then get transferred to pathology only to be told, sorry, they have all left for the day. !#$#$@%$. finally get transferred to that persons supervisor who was still there and was the nicest person i talked to all day. not only did he find the slides, he packaged them up and left them at the front desk for me...and actually called me back. thanks, paul.

so, then i call uh first thing this morning to see if it would be helpful for me to drop off the slides first thing this morning instead of waiting for my appointment at 3:00. and was told, no, it didn’t really matter because the slides would have to be sent downtown to be retested by uh before my oncologist could do anything with them. @%$@%@%^#^#^#^. i was hoping today to visit my oncologist and find out my fate for the next couple of months and now, i’m not even sure that’s going to happen. she will have the pathology report, so hopefully we will learn something. but on top of already feeling really anxious, now i’m frustrated too.

oh well. like i said, it’s probably my own fault for not staying within the same system. i just with both systems had more understanding for patients understand and know. both sides could have probably handled this with a single phone call...a week and a half ago.

ok, i’m done. i’ll keep you posted.

pink

today was wear-pink-day at burton elementary in honor of two of our most beloved teachers who are also going through a breast cancer battle right now. thanks to joanna...sammy has the coolest shirt ever...that even has his moms name on it. he was a little afraid that it looked like a dress...but i think the black underarmour toughened it up.

reiki

my friend, michelle, practices reiki and balanced my chakras the other day. she is planning on getting mote serious about it, so i am going to help her with business cards and stuff. it”s a lot of stuff to put on a card...and she wants it only one-sided. do you have a favorite? olivia likes the water color one because she says its more spiritual. and i just love that she gave it that kind of thought.

another day, another appointment

but today with one of my favorite people, my general surgeon, dr. dorsky. it’s not like he’s over-the-top friendly, but his manner is really comforting to both brian and i. i wish i could take him to my oncology appointment next week. he is super positive that i wont need further treatment...other than maybe something hormonally...but is not so sure that the oncologist will look at things the same way. anyway, still very happy with yesterdays news and feeling pretty good about it. i planned on writing more, but i am being kicked off the computer by my daughter and husband. more later.

orchid

i have never owned one, but kate and russ sent this home with brian after a photo shoot. soooo beautiful. the crazy kids in the background aren’t bad either.

:)

no lymph node involvement! i meet with my oncologist next week so i can’t say for 100% certain that i won’t have additional treatment...but its still a good sign. i also found out that there was a pre-cancerous growth in the right breast that nothing picked up except this biopsy. so just more reassurance for us that we did the right thing. so, have a toast for me. i’ll join you as soon as i get off all these pain killers! xoxo

and ps. i will just never be able to thank everyone enough for all their prayers and help. we are just so blessed to have so many loving families. brace yourself, i think this will be an ongoing theme for lot of the next posts!

things that made me smile today

(in no particular order)
1 > olivia questioning my love for her
2 > that lame mime doing “repairwork” on the olympic torch
3 > sammy doing einy-meiny-miny-mo to decide who would take him to school
4 > card on my back door from meredith...we are so blessed with good friends
5 > a snowman
6 > all my conversations with jimmy today
7 > a care package from colleen...that good friends-thing again
8 > every time brian walks into my office
9 > summer madness
10 > my kids doing dance dance revolution to hungry like the wolves

so, full disclosure, this post was written last monday night...the night before my surgery. just thinking about all the the things in my life i have to smile about that day. and the next day was no exception. i constantly had the hand of my best friend...well with the exception of a couple of hours. and everyone we met was happy, friendly and helpful. we were told that the surgery went textbook...no problems. the pain...that was a problem, but i had a pump and everyone kept a close eye on me. and believe it or not, i was released early the next afternoon. i think my kids were a bit freaked out to see me though. between looking pale and unsteady, i also had all sorts of nasty things hanging from my body. 2 drains and 2 pain pumps. they don’t usually see me sick or unhappy, so it sort of upset sam. but i have felt better and stronger every day since. honestly, if you would have told me that i would feel like i do today tuesday night....i wouldn’t have believed you. so,

the elephant in my kitchen. the lymph nodes. i still don’t know yet. i called this morning and they said to try again this afternoon. anyone who has been thru this...and unfortunately, i know too many, know that this is the worst part. waiting. waiting. waiting. i don’t even know what to say. but hopefully my next post will start with a :)

winter picnic

we did this about a month ago...i just didn’t get around to posting it till now. leave it to carol, our neighbor and best friend to get us out of our comfort zone. literally. but we had a warm day, the park was beautiful, lots of good bread and cheese, free wood and a crackling fire in that cool lean-to behind carol and i in the pictures. we are planning on an overnight there in may. our luck with camping...especially with c&c...isn’t that great. lots of big green blobs on the radar. but this park is in huntsburg so how bad can it be.

shaun white

sam wants to be him, and olivia wants to marry him.
(donations happily accepted. ;) )

vacuum

so, it would appear that my luck with cancer is about as good as my luck in vacuums. which is to say...it sucks. (see what i did there?) having gone through 3 vacuums in about 2 months...i could hardly believe it was happening. but with those vacuums...it was so crazy that all i could do was laugh. the cancer...not so much. right at my five year mark...my routine mri showed a shadow that wasn’t there last year. when they say shadow, it kind of makes it not sound so ominous. but when they say invasive lobular cancer...not so good. anyway, i am having a double mastectomy with reconstruction on march 2nd. i am really ok with it. i didn’t start this blog to really reveal all sorts or personal stuff, but right now it seems like a good way to keep everyone in the loop. we won’t know till the day of the surgery if it has spread to my lymph nodes, but my thinking is that if they only saw a “shadow”...it’s small. so all my positive energy is going in that bucket.

(my next appointment is for pre-op next monday. nothing scary. just blood work...which i was due for anyway.)

fug

i LOVE when the fug girls do jennifer lopez.
an excuse to post. i’ll try and do it more often.

before...after

the whispering pines photo i promised....
taking it down. can you believe it? we are lucky a fire didn’t start. we cut it down...i watered it religiously at least once every day...and we get this. not blaming anybody, just curious as to what to look for when you are cutting down a live tree.

summer in a snuggie

what can i say. my kids were with me...and i was weak at the grocery store. aunt sheryl, it’s all your fault. :)

merry christmas

olivia’s abercrombie fitch card as customized by daddy.

greetings

try to be surprised if you see these shots end up on our card this year.
more cool shots from olivia.

santas be sketchy

i can’t look at this photo and not laugh at everyone involved.
it was a perfect storm.
and if you have a minute for a time-waster, check out this.

happy holidays...

hmmmmm. some people have a rough time i guess.
(more whispering pines photos to come.)

summer day

i know. i’m the mom. but is that not the most beautiful dog EVER? once again, thanks to russ for making my family look good.

pawstand

the scariest thing is...she seems to like it.

no gang signs

text!!!

three raw meatballs

one chicken wing bone
four q-tips
one sock
plain dealer metro section
2 malted milk balls
bowl of lucky charms
nathan’s birthday halloween candy
contents of upstairs trash can
brian’s napkin
1/354 piece of bumblebee transformer

(summers’s snacking for the last week)

0-14

so they didn’t have the greatest season.
but we are so proud of olivia for trying a new sport.
(pictured above with ashley, one of her bffs.)
jk! lol! idk. ily! txt! i’m on a roll.
yesterday was their last game.
and even after being sick for 2 days, she had the most awesome game.
the overhand serve definitely clicked in (i think she had 6 in a row).
and in my opinion was partially responsible for at least 6 more.
most importantly, most of the team really had a great time with each other.

frank and summer

right after i said i wouldn’t do it.
but i just found this picture...taken by olivia on her phone.
i just love it. the composition is awesome.
maybe there is another camera in your future, sweetheart.

paper recycling

at the risk of overdoing it with the dog pictures...another shot of summer in my office. she looks so innocent, doesn’t she? thanks eran, for the photo.

13 weeks

at brenda’s party last saturday afternoon. we saw other puppies that were the same age as summer was when we got her. it’s hard to believe how much she has grown. and how much she puts into her mouth. (thanks sally, for the picture!)

soccer sam

i LOVE watching him play. he never stops moving (probably to a fault sometimes).
thank you to laura a. for the great picture.

labor day

sam and ellen’s dirty feet contest.
our friend, ashley, her favorite.

me and martha

tomato blight. yuck. i heard martha lost almost 70% of her crop. so discouraging. i pulled everything, and quickly roasted what i could salvage. sucks. it is some sort of bad kharma for me...there is not much more i love in the world than a warm, ripe, beautiful tomato.

dogfight

summer and sam at work this morning.
it’s so fun to watch them play.
sam is the most gentle dog i have ever been around.
we hope summer takes after him.

the uniform project

so fun! i stumbled across this today on abovethefraymag. since may 1st, sheena matheiken has worn a uniform as “an exercise in sustainable fashion.” i loved seeing all the looks she has pulled together...pulling together outfits with vintage stuff, flea market finds and stuff donated by other designers. (i didn’t pull the most exciting photos...so see for yourself) and donations go to the Akanksha’s School Project to fund uniforms and other educational expenses for children living in Indian slums. i was just telling someone today that i wished the kids wore uniforms.(heck, sometimes i wish i did!) a friend of hers designed the main dress...it can be worn backwards, open, closed...very versatile. i’ll have to get a hold of the pattern.

more.

new school years eve

i’m sad. i am not one of those parents that can’t wait till their kids go back to school. i really love having my guys home. have i mentioned that my favorite thing in the world is hearing them laugh? they have done lots of that this summer. but tomorrow is the big day. (early for us burtonites...usually we don‘t go back till after labor day) i know they will love seeing all their friends and we will be in the routine before we know it. but till then...a couple pictures of summer goodness.

beach

at this rate, we’ll be booking next year’s vacation by the time i show you our vacation photos. still organizing.

summer

the new addition to our family. she’s the one biting the fence.
we think sam was meditating about dogmas or something.