daily ritual :: summer edition

so. this post definitely falls in the category of too much information. so be forewarned. i a little while back in updates i posted that there might be a problem with my incision. well, that turned out to be a large understatement. because of the radiation that i had 5 years back (well, thats what i keep telling myself so i stop putting the blame on me) the incision not only didn’t heal, but got hugely infected. fortunately, it waited till i got home from vacation...but 2 dys later i was in my doctors office watching brian turn pale as the doctor cut open my chest and pulled out my inplant. (i have very little feeling there...so it didn’t hurt me...except for wanting to throw up cause i knew what was happening) anyway...enough back story and on to the daily ritual part. every day...twice a day...the saint known as brian roach has to pack my open wound...wearing rubber gloves....with saline soaked gauze until the wound heals up from the inside. you cant just sew it up cause there is now way of making sure all the bacteria is out of it. it’s why puncture wounds are so dangerous. now, some of you know...brian is a guy who learned how to give a shot into a box turtles leg. so he’s perfectly suited for this job. and as i have said to myself for the umpteenth-gazillioneth time...i don’t know what i would do without him.

balloons

i’ll probably file this one under a little bit too much information...but i visited my plastic surgeon yesterday to start having my expanders filled up. and i think brian will agree with me...it was kind of freaky. first, they use what amounts to a stud-finder to find the resealable cap to my expander. then, using a syringe that is easily an inch in diameter and maybe 6 inches long, with a needle that is easily 3 inches long...he injected the saline through my scar into the cap. and it didn’t hurt. (then) it just felt so bizarre to feel these things filling up. it was only a little, but when he was done, they felt so tight. it was really almost hard to breathe. it hurt every time i took a deep breath. i had debated driving myself to that appointment, but now i’m really glad i didn’t. i was joking with allison at work about coming back and everyone staring at breasts for weeks. (you know you will!) i suppose posts like this don’t help. but aside from the sucky part about the cancer, the process has all been so interesting.