thank you

inspired by jimmy’s awesome new book (yes, first name basis. one of of my best friends, ruth, twitters with him. yeah, it counts.) i decided to say a few thank yous of my own. sadly, since i’m only .000005 percent as funny as jimmy....ill sprinkle a few of his into the post. :)

1. thank you...the word moist, for being the worst word ever. I think i speak for all americans when i say that we don’t want you as a word anymore. God, I hate you. *

2. thank you...happy buddha. for standing watch over the amazing flowers bri brought home for me friday night. it was kind of a tough week. (surgery wednesday = more pain than i expected < valium and percoset + awesome husband and kids +good wishes from friends and family)


3. thank you...15 year old teenage daughters for keeping me sharp. one minute i’m the best mom in the world, the next i suck. i never know what to expect.definitely more interesting than sudoku. when im 80...i’m going to rock.

4. thank you...ants around my kitchen sink, for allowing every day to start with murder. every day, you take the toilet paper towel express to toiletville, and yet more of you arrive the next morning. i don’t get it ants, but thank you. *

5. thank you...weather guys. for one of you telling me today will be decent but with scaaaaaaaatered showers...and the other telling me it will be SEVERE, wrapped with a tongue of heat. (i am not making this up) way to represent, guys.

6. thank you....PEZ dispensers, for being little creatures that vomit candy out of their necks. you’re awesome. *

7. thank you...tiny closet that marcus advertising stuck me into 20 years ago pretending it was an office. if i didn’t look so ridiculous sitting in there, brian might never have stopped by to make fun of me. we have been married 18 years today. he still makes fun of me, but mostly because i can’t distinguish between my left and right sides. (i love you, bri.)

8. thank you...people who give homemade jam as a gift. what are we, quakers? exactly how much jam do you think i use? you know this is going to sit in my fridge for three years until i throw it out to make room for beer, right? just checking. *

9. thank you...volleyball shorts, for leaving pretty much nothing to the imagination. really? you can’t play in large baggy sweatpants? of course, olivia looks gorgeous in anything she puts on. that’s the problem. (spire is over for the year...moving on to conditioning for fall)

10. thank you...summer, for keeping me so well groomed. am i salty? am i dirty? why does she want to lick me so much? should i be worried? are dogs mouths cleaner than ours?

bonus*** thank you...microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.

xo.